It's never to late...

Over the past few days I have been contacted by a few Mummies sharing their history with me about their childhoods and how it affects them at xmas in particular.

It got me thinking, perhaps there are many more of you feeling the same way? So I thought I would share how I overcame these feelings, from my personal point of view.

Obviously my thoughts and actions do not replace professional advice. I am merely sharing in the hope that it can help any of you, who may have bitter/sweet feelings about xmas...

Sweet because you love sharing it with your children, bitter because it may remind you of what you missed out on :(

Personally, by far the hardest thing to let go of was that 'ripped off' feeling. Ripped off that my Dad was not (and still is not) the father I expected him to be (or even just a slightly normal one).

I have chosen not to share my life with my Dad anymore. It is easier and less painful to not see him than to have to constantly negotiate stress and negative emotions, under his terms.

I want to encourage those of you who may have been through a rough time in your childhood and are still struggling with it at times, to remember this....

Whilst you can NEVER get your childhood back, you are in the midst of creating a wonderful one for your children and the CRAP has STOPPED with you!

You need to remind yourself whenever you have the negative emotions, that you can't change the past but it is never too late to have a happy childhood... albeit sharing one with your children.

Sometimes all you can do is take each moment as it comes, sit with the yukky, negative feelings and simply focus on replacing a bad thought with a good one.

Refuse to give your present power and energy, to the past.

I try to remember that hurt people...HURT PEOPLE and can be very good at noticing whats wrong. I WAS that person, so if you can relate. try to be just as good at noticing whats pleasing and good in your life...know that everything you have been through up until now, has made you who you are and YOU will only get better!

The fact that you are reading Sunny Mummy is not because I am anything special, I am just an ordinary Mummy who looks on the sunny side :) You are here because you want live brighter and know its ok to SHINE. Your family and motherhood in general, NEED you to SHINE. We ALL need help with this from time to time and I hope Sunny Mummy is doing that for you all.

From the messages I am receiving, it makes me extra sunny to know that you are all enjoying my blog, I am excited because I know there is lots more sunshine instore for the new year to keep us all on track.

On a personal note, I am undergoing some tests at the moment for a lump in my breast. I will be having a biopsy on New Years Eve...what a way to end 2009 :(
We are 99% sure it is just a cluster of cysts but we need to cover all bases...

Why am I telling you all this?

For NO other reason than to encourage you to CHECK YOUR BREASTS and look after yourself. Silly things do not matter, what matters is your health because without it, you have NOTHING.

We women are GREAT talkers but we need to share the not so good stuff as well. Talk about your down times as well as your up times. Talk about your miscarriages, your depression, your worries as well as your joys and blissful moments...you never know who is going through or has been through the same thing and you may be just the thing they needed at that time.

Women can be very judgemental of one another, especially mothers. We are our own worst enemies because we are all running around thinking other women have got it more together than us or aren't struggling the way we do...RUBBISH.

We all have different talents, strengths, abilities, wants and needs...

Lets spend this time LOVING WHO WE ARE, FORGETTING WHO WE WERE AND FOCUSSING ON WHO WE ARE BECOMING...Sunny Mummies keeping it real, supporting one another and keeping our faces to the sun so we don't see the shadows!

So on Christmas Eve and as 2009 comes to an end, I wish you all a SAFE, HAPPY but most of all HEALTHY festive season and 2010.


Keep Shining and THANKS for your support and encouragement....it truly means ALOT :)

oh and yes that is me in my first Santa photo :)

Stace x

PS Will be sure to let you all know how I go with the 'girls' ;)