When a child is born...

Yesterday was fathers day and we had a GREAT day out of the house, enjoying breakfast, lunch, ice cream, sand, sea and sunshine! As my husband left for work this morning, we hugged each other and I said "Thanks for yesterday, it was really fun!" His reply? "No, thank you...for making me a father!"

Wow, what a thing to say! Let me tell you that on mothers day I milk it for all its worth, the only thing I do is go to the toilet for myself and I only do that because well, no-one else can do that for you can they he he? The day is all about me, after all, I deserve it...we mothers work sooo hard, and you know what they say "When a child is born, so is a mother".

Absolutely, but so is a father!

When we are pregnant, we get 9mths to feel the baby inside us and prepare as best we can for motherhood. Then we deliver the baby and it is at this time it becomes physically REAL for the father. No longer is it just the 2 of you and where once you were each others world.. suddenly, for many men, they go to the bottom of the pile. As mothers, of course we justify this. The baby needs us, he can take care of himself, I am soooo tired and many of us go into a world where we think we have to do it all and our way.

Of course we all realise at some point that this is simply not true and children need their Daddy just as much as their Mummy but I wonder how many of us have stopped and thought that without our men, we wouldn't even be mothers?
It is often said that "the greatest thing parents can do for their children is love each other". Easier said than done, parenting is hard work but it becomes ALOT easier if we constantly remind ourselves that we should be facing the world together, not facing each other wondering how did we get here?

I would be hard pressed to find a mother in today's world who is not aware of positive parenting. Most of us try to do it and if you haven’t come across it by now, don’t worry...start daycare/pre-school and you will soon be exposed to it...As mothers, we are encouraged to praise our children, actively LOOK FOR and NOTICE the things they do right, pick our battles with them, for every NO or negative interaction, to have 5 (or whatever the number is) positive ones etc etc Carried out consistently...it really works!

So I propose the following...Positive Partnering! Take everything above and apply it to your interactions with your husband/partner. It won’t be easy, its not easy with the kids either but when you do it, you see the benefits immediately in the kids and yourself! So imagine the benefits of doing the same with your husband...Lets try it together for 1 week and if it doesn’t impact positively on your home life by next Monday, you can write to me and never read my blog again...believe me, if it doesn’t I will be the first to write about it....

I am confident it will though... just like we need to look after our children’s mother, we also need to look after their father too....NOT in a mothering way of course but by having a great marriage/relationship. Its hard to imagine NOW that one day your house will be empty and it will go back to being just the 2 of you. We give sooo much attention everyday to housework, bills, work, email and dare I say...social networking sites like facebook, twitter and yes blogs he he yet how much attention are you giving to your children's father?

I wrote a few weeks ago that we give time to what we value. Invest time and love into your most important relationship....the one you have with your husband/partner...the father of your children!

*IMPORTANT NOTE: At this point I have come back to add that it just occurred to me that there may be some single mummies reading this post and obviously this is written from a partnered perspective. I am not pretending for one minute that I know how hard it is to do the job of both mother and father, and certainly our society needs to recognise that there are many single mothers (or fathers) and their children who are viable and positive family units. The purpose of this blog is to encourage Mummies to look after themselves first. From time to time there will be a post on father/husbands etc and it may or may not apply to you. However, it is my hope that you may read the above and feel that the same principles outlined can be applied if your ex is still actively in your life and that perhaps doing so may create a more positive parenting relationship for you and your children.